be mine

I got “No, after you”ed in the subway just now. And there were Godiva chocolates on my desk when I got back from my early meeting. I ran to the window to look for horsemen and a sky of blood, but apparently, it is not the apocalypse at all.

It’s Valentine’s Day.

Truth be told, I’m a sucker for the holiday. I tried to hate it because of all the icky consumer-driven, Hallmark manipulated love stuff, but I can’t. I love the love. I even gave Sir Hal extra annoying kisses on his little black face this morning and wished him a happy You’ll Never Get Laid, You Poor Neutered Bastard Day. And even though I’m quite single, I’ll continue to be charmed by the day because I know someone, somewhere is having some romantic candle lit somethingorother.

This year, because I knew I would be without Valentine, I recruited last year’s long distance stand-in. We have a very specific relationship, limited to providing each other with affection on holidays for which we might otherwise be absolutely alone. He was my New Year’s kiss, too. But that he’s in Boston the day’s festivities are limited to silly, flirtatious emails, like the one that just popped up in my inbox:

Hello my Luvah. I love you, Luvah. Happy Valentines day! We'll pretend to have a nice romantic dinner tonight, then we'll have a roll in the hay.

Swoon. What more can a girl ask for?

Well, for starters, dinner with my other platonic Valentine. We’ll probably order take-out and watch bad, bad reality programming. Because nothing says love like Trading Spouses.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

20 Comments

Coquette said:

Yay for platonic Valentines. I've got mine all lined up as well.

red said:

platonic valentines keep me sane this time of year. happy v-day to you, Fish!

how are the t-shirts coming along?

Ari said:

Oh My Funny Little Valentine,

I'm all a twitter for our big night!! Shaving-my-legs-excited ;)

kristine said:

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Finally, someone that is single that still loves this holiday. You have given me hope.
I can blog without guilt today!!

THANK YOU!

Esther said:

That's the trouble with February: before you turn around, BAM! You've got VD.

I love the word "Lovah..."

And you could do a lot worse than Ari. I don't know if she told you, but she's the queen of the Jews, now.

Mathieu said:

Happy Valentine, then!

ee said:

Better to be single than to have a crap boyfriend who wants to hang out with his flat mate! And then you can't complain to him because that would be high maintenance and deep down you think that Valentines day is just a stupid hallmark holiday anyways!

akaellen said:

yay for platonic valentines and new episodes of 24!

Mike said:

How you don't lay waste to every man that comes within 20 feet of you is a medical-fucking anomoly.

Happy V-day

joyce said:

happy valentines, stupid face

me said:

I just bought myself a box of chocolates, on sale for $2.99. I don't like Valentine's Day, but I love chocolate. So I guess I love something :)

I suppose I love you, too. *gag*

hee hee

Fish said:

hee hee. I love you, too. But in that, let's not hug kinda way. 'Cause I know how you hate hugs.

MsOktober said:

Happy Valentine's Day!

May you not get a post-it note valentine or plastic flowers ;)

The Cure said:

V-day... The day everyone tries to tell me to "enjoy it while your still single". Trouble is they didn't enjoy it when they were single.
I like your 'no advice' policy I may have to start my own.

Michael R said:

I like Sir Hal's holiday. (not for myself, just in general)

Tammi said:

Happy Valentines Day!
xo

Tinkster said:

Definitely have to agree that I like Sir Hal's holiday. It so needs to be put on the calendar.

Though the greeting cards might be a bit sketchy.

wendi said:

i am singing in my head "this fish, this fish" to the tune of faith hill's "this kiss"... which would be great if i were some cute guy who would totally spoil you on valentine's day so you didn't have to do the drunken reality tv thing... sorry. enjoy fear factor or whatever!! and happy valentine's day!

KellyLove said:

This is one of my fav ubiqitous valentine's day posts...thanks for the laugh! I'd been feeling alternately bitchy and weepy, esp. after three of the "non singles" at work asked me what I was doing this evening, "what, you're not going to some lonely hearts club dinner with your other single friends?" smirk smirk. It made me feel like the popular girls had just smacked a big old "loser" sign on my back. So I went home and ate cheese.

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This fish needs a bicycle: If not for comfort, at least for entertainment's sake.

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